Good Bye July, you mad month of miscommunication. You know the after effects of this month will continue until about the 15th of August. Marvellous, really marvellous. July was still governing us to look at our insecurities and what truly makes us tick, but added to the mix, (thank you dear, dear planetary alignments) was miscommunication.
When upstairs said it would be challenging to hold to your light, I really didn’t think how frustrating it would be to have to feel like “micro managing” others. I laughed my head off last week as one of my gorgeous clients said “I truly believe that people are set on this planet to completely either ignore me or tick me the hell off”. In reality people can only really “tick you the hell off” if you let them and when they do that, it’s really truly your own issues.
Talk about “intense” emotional roller coasters as well over the course of the month and really this is all as it should be. We never address issues until we have to, we never look at our own emotional value until something jumps up and slaps us emotionally. Ever dismissive to ourselves, we are indeed our worst enemies. Having said that this month of miscommunication has been pushing us to be clearer in our own understanding as well and that is a very good thing. I often look at how I explain things to others…
“You know, the thingy…. Yip I THINK I have time, I’ll get back to you… Maybe… O.o Honestly could I possibly get any vaguer? At the end of the day, it has made me think about how many assumptions we make at times both about ourselves and others. The month of miscommunication has been both, enlightening and annoying. “Can you pick up this from the Cobbler? or I can do it later. Yes… ok… Hey where is the shoe? I thought you could do it later?” Talk about open-ended miscommunication and we simply do this a lot.
I laughed my head off at our fencer, two weeks ago. I had been ringing him for days, “can you please tell me when you can come?” He mumbles “Well it depends, the weather, my crew, other demands and how much injury I manage to do to myself in the meantime”. “I beg your pardon?” “Well I’m accident prone, so I don’t like to commit to days cause I may do an injury”. I laughed and laughed. “You’ll get one if you assume that will happen”. He laughed, “ring me tomorrow”. I sigh “fine but the house is sold I need a time frame”. “Yep, Yep”.
Rang him the next day to find him at A&E with a splinter in his eye….. Honestly, the things we create for ourselves. But the point is, we miscommunicate a lot. We don’t actually think about what comes out of our mouths at times, nor do we truly listen to what others say. I notice it a lot with my children and really it’s my fault. “Can you get the thingy for me from up the front?” Really? Really? yes that’s me. My husband calls me on it heaps. “OMG, can you possibly miscommunicate randomly any more than you do?”. *takes a bow, I do my best 😀
But its a valid point. What DO you hear when others are talking to you? Sometimes life can be a perpetual game of “Chinese Whispers”… Someone says something, goes in one ear, comes out the other sounding something completely different. How many times have you snickered to yourself as you thought you heard someone say something quite rude, when it turns out that it was an innocent comment. We truly are terrible listeners and worse communicators.
I have a friend I love so much. Sometimes we just look at each other.. no words cause it feels weird to try to put words into our space. However, it is equally frustrating at times to not to be able to spit out what we want to say. It does take time to be a good communicator, it’s not given, we are not born with perfect communication and governed by our experiences through childhood it becomes frustrating to communicate a way that gives clarity. We think we said it, but did we? DID we really communicate properly? or did you think you did?
Best suggestion to STOP miscommunication is to be very clear and simple in your own understanding of yourself but also of what you want to convey to others and truly just for a moment listen. Both to yourself but others. If it doesnt make sense, don’t just nod politely, look vacant and then be mortified when someone asks you WHY you didnt help or know they needed help.
Ask, listen, pay attention to you, what you need to convey, and to others. We approach this month of August still clearing our own way ahead and the need for clarity in self is so very important this time. If you expect others to be clear then be clear in yourself as well. Think first, does it make sense (in my case usually not, so more work required). But never have the expectation of understanding from others until you can convey honestly and with clarity, either your thoughts or your expectations. We are governed by verbal communication in this realm, NOT assumptions. Clear it people and we give such clarity to ourselves.
Potato (Po-taaaaay-toe) a root vegetable able to be cooked and eaten…. Commonly confused with a Potarto, but in reality it’s just a lack of communication
Potarto (Po-tarrrr-toe) A root vegetable to be cooked and eaten. However commonly confused with the Potato above but in reality it’s just semantics caused by people not using their ears properly….