I have to admit I am particularly stubborn. In fact I am the first one to admit this and in this evolutionary time when we are governed to look at ourselves fully in the light and acceptance of all that we are. Now ask me if I want to look at all my “gooey insidy bits” and I will point-blank tell you no. However bear this in mind though, IF I don’t look at me, then the Universe keeps sending people who make me look at how I react and how situations make me react.
Understand this, if there is no emotional triggers to situations and people, then you have sorted all your “goopy” bits and you are then free to be at one with yourself and the planet. What a wonderful place to be so certainly stop avoiding yourself and start to look at every situation that comes your way, as well as people, as wonderful learning for yourself and how you react in yourself.
This energy IS challenging and rightly so, simply HOW long you been procrastinating about having your beautiful fulfilling life and HOW long have you been making those awesomely inventive excuses you’ve been coming up with?
Anyway, I was working with Merrin, a Guide who brings a totally different, insistent level of learning. Sometimes we can look back on the Teachers we had in our lives and think, that one in particular stuck out simply because they were really hard on me, but looking back you understood that they could truly see inside you and know what you are really capable of. Others, simply don’t let you away with excuses, Merrin is a combination of both.
Quite often we are doing things together that I think of as common place, normal in a normal reality beyond this reality, but always, always she is showing me again how to “re-link” back with the fundamental basics that is part of our intrinsic make up, that we over run with expectations, impatience and in my case, just plain laziness.
Last night I landed in Merrin’s small vegetable garden, which is beside a small hut in a place from the distance past. This place is so important in my memories, simply because Merrin was my mother. Born to a tiny Chinese lady very late in her life, I came into the world with birth defects and intellectually impaired. All of the other children she had given birth to had died. It was a very hard life in this village and those who were not strong simply perished. Merrin wouldn’t have a bar of that. In the face of scorn from the other villagers, the loss of her husband who was much older than her by a stroke. She struggled to bring me up. Many times she would hoist and lift me to somewhere else to plop me down and tell me the ways of the village, while I burbled happily in incoherent mutterings.
She would lean close and say “I see you, in there, you won’t be able to hide forever, for I see your love”.
When Merrin first came in as a Guide, I couldn’t believe how much I loved her right from the start, and knew I had to find in the Tapestry of Lives, the life we had together, this wise, tiny, stubborn Chinese Guide with the twinkling black eyes.
As I land in the garden of a home from so very, very long ago, Merrin is planting in black soil some seeds of unknown origin. I move closer. “Get down here and help” she says and I smile to myself. Learning is a tangible element with Merrin, very hands on. I grab a handful of black soil, the smell of it rich with nutrients and inhale it for a moment, she stuffs a seed into my hand and points to the soil in my other hand. “Hurry up, you plant that”. “What am I planting?” She looks at me shrewdly.
“How I supposed to know”. I frown. “What if it’s a weed?” She looks me up and down. “How you know if its going to be a weed or a plant, if you never bother to plant the thing?”. I look at her suspiciously. Why on earth do I get the feeling we aren’t talking about a flipping seed at all but rather something I am not doing in my own life.
She closes my hands around the seed in the soil. “What you do with it now?” She asks, her weathered hands warm on the outside of mine, crusted with black soil. I look at our hands, “Now I would feed it with love, nurture it, water it and allow it to grow”. She leans into my face “What if it a weed?”. I laugh, “Well I am going to look at it this way, I have to trust that in order for me to allow it to grow, not knowing what it truly is, I have to have faith that it’s what it is meant to be”.
She reaches out and taps me on the side of the head. “You slow, but you learning”. She takes the soil with the seed from my hands and blows on it gently, a tiny tendril of green, bursts from the black soil and curls its way towards her, unfurling tiny leaves at the same time. I hold my breath and watch, it is like watching a sped up time-lapse, incredibly fast this plant is forming right in front of me.
Tiny little tendrils form and little tiny buds also, forming out to bright red flowers. I laugh in delight. “It’s a Bean plant!” Merrin looks sideways at me and smiles, wrinkles beam out from her eyes as the black eyes squint in merriment, then dead pan serious she says “Oh look no weed after all”. I snort laughter as she nestles the plant into the ground with the other plants and neatly pulls a bean stand from behind her and gently wraps some of the tendrils to the bean stand.
She leans in close and pats my hands. “No such thing as weed, when you give it enough love, passion and faith”. She clucks to herself and creakily stands and shoves more seeds in my hands. “Finish row, you understand what you need to do now”. She moves towards the small hut that we share for a time, such a life time ago.
Sometimes we forget all too easily, how much fun it was to plant seeds, and to wait expectantly for them to surface from the ground. Never too sure as children quite what they would grow into but believing, and I believe that’s the key with such faith and trust, that they would simply come to fruition. We have to put this simply philosophy back into our lives. To learn again the wonder of allow a seed, an idea, something different to be planted into the garden of our lives, and believe and trust, that it will simply, with enough nurturing and tending, become something beyond our wildest dreams.
Plant the seeds of your dreams. DO something new, believe in it, and allow that wonder to come back into your life. For you, simply for you.