Gosh the time has gone no where as Christmas looms with its frenetic energy of catching up with loved ones and making food and generally heralding a “wind down” time of year. I actually love Christmas because I know I can choose to either buy into the stress of it, or choose the enjoyment of it. Most of the time, it is ourselves who put stress on us, trying to be too much, do too much and trying to keep others happy. It can be exhausting. Knowing that you get to choose which element of Christmas you embrace, gives you more understanding and clarity. The choice is yours.
I was talking to the Guides about Christmas and also my own expectations of self at this time of year. I quite often feel guilty having time off, or time out, when people would love to connect with their loved ones at this time of year. A gentle “Celestial” telling off from “Upstairs” brings me the beautiful parable of the “Imperfect” Angel. Thank you always to the wonderful Guides who share these gorgeous stories. ♥
The Imperfect Angel:
Once there was an Angel in Heaven, she worried so much that she could do more, could help more, could be more. She watched down to the Earth and decided that she could be so much more if she came down to the Earth Plane, that she could help change the world and make it just perfect. It was not that she had ego, but she had such a passion in her heart to be all she could be, with all the love in her heart. She wanted Peace with all her heart, she wanted Love to be experienced in all it could be, with all of her being. She wanted to change the world to Peace and Love.
The Angel went and talked to God, “Please may I go down to earth? I so badly want to make a difference, I just want things to be perfect!”. God smiled gently at the Angel and said “Defining “perfect” is a hard ask, for there is truly many, many ways to define “perfect”. The Angel looked at God slightly blankly, “I do not understand”. God smiled again “I will let you go to the Earth plane and then I hope you will understand. Bear in mind though, when you leave this realm, the Earth Plane will challenge your memories of Love, of Harmony, Peace and will bring you multiple learning on “perfection”.
The Angel could hardly contain her excitement she was going to the Earth plane, she could do so much, she would be able to make things perfect for people, she just knew she could change things. The other Angels looked at her wisely but knew in themselves that until the Angel had been on her journey she would not understand about “perfect”.
The day came and the Angel hugged all the other Angels in delight, her journey to the Earth Plane was about to begin. She crossed the portal and stepped out into the earth world and into a small earth baby body. The birth process was hard and she found it so very heavy to be in a body, still she was filled with joy at what she would be able to help with and she had chosen the family she wanted to go to on the basis of how much she could accomplish in her life. The earth body was so heavy and fragile at the same time and she wanted to be the “perfect” baby.
The parents of the Angel Baby argued and argued, they were not happy with each other and the baby looked from one to the other trying to make both parents happy. She sobbed quietly for hours in her own unhappiness as the parents fought and fought. I wanted it to be perfect, she wailed softly to herself in long dark nights and the baby grew quieter and more withdrawn as she grew to childhood. When she was five, her parents separated and the Angel child blamed herself completely. She had done everything she could but yet their differences could not be reconciled. She sobbed quietly to God, “what am I doing wrong?”.
In the silence of the night, the Angels wrapped around her gently, but with her earth plane ears she did not hear them or see them and her loneliness grew. By 10 years old the Angel Child was bitter and tired, she dragged her body through her life, seeking always perfection, looking for perfection, a perfect love, a perfect relationship, a perfect happiness. She didn’t like school, she moved between parent to parent who still argued left and right and at night-time she slept with her hands over her ears to block out a world, she felt failed her, and in turn she was failing at. Her memories of her old life, were faded as an old photograph and she didn’t believe that there could be love here, perfection on the earth plane any more.
By 16 the Angel Girl was in trouble with the police, in trouble with her family and her life. She was so angry at a world she considered corrupt and heavy, devoid of emotional commitment and she purposefully hurt people who she came across. Dismissing people that tried to love her in their way, she scorned with a lack of connection, a cruel indifference, because of what she saw as their “imperfect” love. She quite often yelled at God. “I thought I came here to change things, it’s useless, hopeless, beyond love, there is no love here like home”. She thought that God listened with deaf ears and her fury grew.
By 22, the bitterness had grown and the Angel Woman had shut down her heart and the love she had inside was trapped. She had hurt a great many people trying to find “perfection”. Trying to get people to see things her way, what life should be like, what people SHOULD do, how they SHOULD feel. She felt trapped and unfulfilled in what her purpose had been, she was in despair about all of her life. People were too hard to change, too hard to talk to, not loving enough and so trapped in their own pain. Yet she could not see that she was doing exactly the same thing by her judgement of them. She had given up on the Angels and God helping or listening. She felt sure that they mocked her, looked down on her and laughed. Her sorrow grew and grew and she isolated herself from anyone who tried to love her because it was not a “perfect” love.
By 30 she had decided it was enough and she took her own life. She left the physical body without regret, without thought of the people who had tried to love her and she returned through the portal and entered back into the realm of Angels. Everyone was waiting for her there, they were so excited and so very loving, and she delighted in the feeling of being in loving intention, loving embrace and she felt a peace in her heart to be home again. Once she had caught up with everyone, with a heavy heart, growing heavier by the moment, she returned to talk to God about her journey.
She slipped into His presence with her heart heavy and her head bowed. “I failed” she whispered. “I forgot so much, it was so hard there and I didn’t make things perfect, in fact I made them worse I fear”. God smiled and wrapped His arms around the Angel, the warmth of His embrace healed so many aspects of her heart that she had hurt on her journey.
“Come with me” He smiled “I want to show you something”. He took her hand and brought her to a large screen, which as she looked, it relayed her life before her eyes. “I don’t want to see” she cried “It was so hard and I failed” and she bent her head. God tilted her chin and said “Just see through my eyes for a moment”. She looked at the screen and she watched. The amazing birth of herself and the wonder of her parents, their pure joy at her conception and her entrance to the world. The love her mother gave her in so many ways, her father as he battled his own responsibilities but loved her as much as he could, as seen through God’s eyes. She watched for each step she thought she failed, she saw that God saw it as a miracle. Each thing she saw as failure, he saw as a Gift, an experience, a wonder. Each person that touched her life, she saw now beyond words, the love they had tried to give her. That her own perception to be “perfect” was not required, she always was perfect in every way through God’s eyes. The Angel sobbed as she realised she had cut short so many experiences, condemned them by her own standards, when there had been so many positives in her life yet she had not seen them.
She looked at God with tear filled eyes and sorrow. “I still failed”. He laughed and smiled “There is no failure, what you learned is that to try to be more perfect than what you already are, you needed to be imperfect”. She frowned, she was not sure she understood. God explained “there is no “perfect” stone, no “perfect” grain of sand, no “perfect” life, no “perfect” understanding, EVERYTHING is perfect. It always was, it is just in the learning of oneself, the expectation that you are imperfect, was where most of your learning lies. For until you understand “imperfect” is just a perception, “perfect” just a perception, you will forget to see beauty in all things. Your life was perfect, you completed it perfectly, and all is as it should be”. He hugged her gently, “you never were an imperfect Angel, you were just you and to me you are always perfect. But you needed to learn that for you”.
Finally the Angel understood. There is no failure, the failure is setting an impossible standard instead of enjoying everything, seeing the love in everything and loving all of it in return. She returned God’s smile and said “Can I go back?”. He threw back his head and laughed with joy at her understanding. “Any time you want, any time you want”.
I don’t think you need a moral to the story do you? Never believe you are an “imperfect” Angel, you are beautiful, amazing, loving and incredible. Please just do one thing, and enjoy MORE the life you are in, for it will be over before you know it and there is so much love here, so much to love, and so much love you need to give yourself to enjoy being here. ♥