I was recently asked by a friend of mine to come and do a talk about Twin Flames/Mirror Flame relationships. Unfortunately at the time I was in Australia but it has been in the back of my mind for ages to write more about these amazingly, wonderful yet INTENSE relationships.
People can talk about meeting their Soul Mate, their Life Mate, the Other half of themselves and I believe this is a wonderful and truly beautiful experience as well and I am always so delighted to hear about people who have connected in love for love and I think when you reach that space, it is perfect for the people concerned. It’s a truly beautiful thing! However, the relationship I am talking about is quite different in terms of my own understanding, simply because of its raw, and I mean raw intensity. Every other person I have spoken to about these relationships have spoken about the intensity, the rawness and the vulnerability in the exposure of themselves.
The key to success in these relationships is a complete and utter dismantling of ANY single view you have of yourself. It is a process, a peeling back of the layers, past all of your experiences, both in this life and others to find the real you. Your twin flame/Mirror Flame is the one that is deeply, amazingly prepared to do that for you, and you in turn will do that for them. You will think alike, know when the other is awake, asleep and they can be a world apart. The connection will be INCREDIBLE. In a word, is it pretty? Ummm NO.. In all honesty no it isn’t, because for years and years you may have had preconceived notions about how love really works. It is NOT all flowers and light and perfect love. It is the TRUTH of your vulnerability and how far you are prepared to go to let your other half into your soul, for you will at times forget where they end and you start. AND the other factor of these relationships are they can be GENDERLESS… It is not a boy/girl relationship although it can be, it can be completely genderless simply because of the love you have for that other person and DEFINITELY it will be a love that is centuries old.
You can read all the blurb about Twin Flames and I particularly love one by Debbie Erasmus. Archangels and Divas on WordPress because it is the story really about my own experience. YOU WILL FIGHT… I have to have an ironic laugh here. I think after years and years of looking for a connection that could really touch some pieces of my Soul, of someone who would remember things like I did, never did I expect someone who could tick me off so much and annoy the hell out of me as much as this person did. The ironic part was that all the aspects I was fighting with her about were MINE! The need to get out of your own WAY will be incredible, starting by acknowledging those irritating traits that are annoying that heck out of you and causing huge frustration are NOT someone else but merely a STARTLING reflection of your own.
You can outmaneuver and wail, complain and kick and scream but then you will have to either do one of three things. WALK away, or keep fighting with them (yourself) for a huge period of time or work it OUT!. Until you realise what is happening, you will hurt you and them over and over again and they will do the same to you. The Mirror reflection of a Twin flame relationship is CRYSTAL CLEAR… Your emotions and hidden traits will be glaringly and I mean glaringly shown to you by your beloved twin in all it’s warty glory. I suppose I do have an ironic sense of humour around this, because fighting with yourself is both unsatisfying and completely pointless and yet within the relationship there is times when you will completely, as I said start to wonder if you are nuts, they are nuts or you both are completely nuts. All of these aspects are being shown to you, to get deep! To get vulnerable and start loving all the unhealthy bits of you well. You CANNOT take it out on your twin, simply because they will do it right back to YOU.
Their traits are yours, your traits are theirs. Its beautiful but its MESSY. Prepare to allow yourself to get messy! If you can get out of your own way long enough, or without wanting to kill one another besides loving each other, you have the ability to have an amazing connected relationship that will be both rewarding and understanding. The one thing that I found the most horrific in some ways was the intensity of my own frustration and even rage with this person, it wasn’t really her but old, old hurts and memories, that were surfacing causing me deep suffering that I had smothered for lifetimes. When that intensity is happening it is dreadfully hard not to accuse the other person of bringing all that hurt that you don’t want deal with to the surface, YET it is the very thing they are supposed to help you with. TO BRING IT TO THE SURFACE.
Frequently I would just stomp off with the intensity of it all and then the pattern starts really which is why all the blurbs say there will be a runner and a chaser. Oh the tangled webs we weave. The funniest thing is when you run, you are actually running from yourself. A collective catch 22 really… Bummer….
The one thing I would advise people coming into these relationships and TRUST me there will be more and more as people reach an evolutionary stage of understanding in themselves that they can NO longer avoid the hurts of many lifetimes, being manifested in the now, and that is… TAKE A CHILL PILL… Seriously, you will need to look at why you are taking everything so personally because if its PERSONAL, then my dear, dear friend, it’s your OWN STUFF and if there is anger and resentment involved… Then Wah la… you are still avoiding dealing with deep stuff in yourself for anger is the best offence against pain.
Yet beyond pain, is peace…. Funny how that happens… We seriously want amazing and fantastic relationships, why the heck wouldn’t we? However, fantastic amazing relationships take WORK and they take you working on yourself first. Harmony within, gives harmony without. Your twin flame will help you look at EVERYTHING, and I mean every darn scarrick of dirt you have lathered on your heart in disharmony of judgement of self. You, my friend are an ONION… Layers of emotions, layers of hurts, layers of learning and the cool part, and there SOOOOO is a cool part, which is some other wonderful soul person decided this before you were born, to find you and help you find you. The human side of that can find that oh sooooo sucky, however your Soul will grow like never before and you will realise how trapped you were in your own hurts and HOW deep they really go.
So buckle up, if you come across one of these relationships remember this…
a) YOU ASKED FOR THIS
b) LOVE THEM massively, and have the courage to work on yourself, recognising that every trigger is YOUR own…
c) Stop criticising yourself AND THEM, they are having it just as wonderfully and messily as you are.
d) This is the corker and the main MOST ALL IMPORTANT ONE…. Apply LOVE to YOU all the way through it… Illumination is amazing for you and them if you make it past the thorns…
c) If you get caught in the thorns, acknowledge you aren’t ready… Give yourself time BUT don’t blame THEM.. cause you are only blaming YOU….
I would love to hear your comments if you have come across one of these wonderful, amazing relationships and remember this LOVE never dies EVER… You may not get it sorted in this lifetime, but YOU will learn about YOU if you are willing… and mostly you will never forget them. Know that your love for each other is timeless, boundless and won’t fade even if the human side just can’t get it together.