You know I have been a part of a chat room for a period of time and I am always so interested to the point I think I mostly study people in their behaviours. However, having said that I do love people’s courage so much as well. We are products of many, many lives and learnings, born into the present and with all our learned beliefs and behaviours of the current life is it any wonder we confuse ourselves at times as well?
Throw in our experiences beyond learned beliefs and we are mostly walking around wondering who the heck we are. The beauty of the human condition means that at any point in time you can be what you want to be. For yourself, for others, you are constantly reinventing who you are through so many different layers of understanding. No wonder its so hard to not put people into pigeon holes and categorise them, or sit in judgement of them. How many times have you tried with a friendship and gone seriously I just can’t do this any more their behaviour is too hard to handle. But rarely do we look at it as them having their own issues to work through and if you ask them about struggling within the relationship they can say well the problem is with you. It’s a classic case of apportioning “blame” but not necessarily about taking ownership of your own role in the breakdown either.
Chatrooms intrigue me, there are usually very interesting people in them deciding whether someone else is wrong, right, leaders and pleasers. However, I have noticed that there is a “them and US” mentality that is starting to develop and I worry about this because it’s not just in the chat room. We also do it in our every day life where we do not give forgiveness or even understanding to another person. We make snap judgements and hold ourselves to that. I have tried and tried to get through to that person and it doesn’t work, so I gave up. Hmmmz… tried and tried what? Understanding them, appreciating their qualities for what they bring to you OR expecting them to completely understand you and the way you think and be the same as you?
We are different for a reason, and that simple reason is about learning. In the learning you learn how to be loving in relationships, patient in relationships, honour relationships and LISTEN. Key word that one LISTEN. Rarely do we actually listen to what our own needs are at a very deep level let alone listening to someone elses as well. We step into intolerance and continually expect (even subconsciously) that the person should try harder, listen more, be more empathic and when they are not as WE expect we become judgemental and accuse them of using us, being narcissistic and cruel.
We need to look at times at what relationships represent for us in terms of teaching us forgiveness of ourselves first.
I talked to Hanni a lot about this last night and I said I know that a long time ago you showed be that there would be eventually two earths but on the same planet. This would be people who choose to awaken themselves, learn about themselves, the connectivity with the collective consciousness and living their authentic lives and the others who would simply just choose to have a human experience for all its warts, and wonder. However, I worry about the forgiveness of each party in honouring the others journey. He shook his head at me. “How you honour another is only due to the amount of forgiveness you will give to yourself”.
I frowned “That sounds convoluted”. He smiled, ever patient this Guide lovingly explained. “You are in the position of being able to explore and understand the threads of your lives before. For each time you hit a stumbling block in your own understanding you simply go find the life that impacted you into that feeling and re-explore why you are acting like this in the now. Many people are unable to do that for as they pass through the veil, they simply forget as they need to so they can be completely and utterly in the experience. However, within that they can fall victim to their subconscious knowledge of older situations and scenarios that played out before and are currently playing out in their lives.
In the many lives you had when you were a male, you did not respect the females in your lives and you are experiencing relearning an appreciation of being a female this time around”. I nod, but I kinda laugh as well. Many many times since I was little have I been incredibly bewildered as to why I chose a female body this time around. Now years later I have a great deal of understanding as to why I chose this rebalancing life as a female and all its challenges which don’t just come from this life but many lives I have had before and I am in enormous gratitude of that learning.
“However” Hanni continues “You have not also forgiven yourself for the lives where you used that power of being male and the societal conditioning around it to live the way you did. If you cannot do that in forgiveness then you will in the present moment judge all of the men in your life with the same judgement that you have never forgiven yourself for”. I have to think about that one for a while. The reason I was having this discussion with Hanni was off a comment from a lovely man in Wellington about “pulled through perceptions” from other lives.
I process this in my brain and think about it hugely. While I can look over all of the Threads of my Tapestry of Lives, I didn’t realise how much my intolerance or lack of forgiveness could be affecting my expectations of people in this current life. Now THAT is really something to think about. For it shapes and forms whatever perception you have of previous lives right now into the current one and most people have been on the planet for a very long time. That is a tonne of lack of forgiveness to be honest and Hanni really has another point. If your subconscious self has the ability to retain all experiences of persecution from other lives, you can definitely run the risk in this life of really amplifying that learning into complete and utter judgement of other people.
I wanted to blog about it because I think we need to start with ourselves before we go expecting others to fulfil roles for us that we don’t even understand WHY we want them to do it. We may well be acting out roles from the past that brought us such unhappiness and we are repeating that same pattern here in the now. From what I can tell from the Guides, the buck certainly stops with ourselves and the way we deal with ourselves.
If you had a victim life in the past and were left with the feeling that you feel persecuted, then you could well be persecuting everyone else you come across in your current life with those feelings when in reality you are being shown them so you can heal them in this life. As humans we are pretty quick to accuse other people of wrecking our happiness, when in reality happiness is not an external thing but completely comes from within governed by our emotional state, which I might add is generated from our brain NOT a person who is ticking us off.
So I went back to Hanni and said “Wow that is a really big concept and one I had not considered until it came up again in that conversation” He replied “It has come up many times in the past but as you reflect on each element of understanding you see each facet in a completely different way, based on your present level of learning. So until you are ready to look at forgiveness of self, you will only ever see areas where you were accountable or felt accountable with others. You must in fact be prepared to look at the level of forgiveness you are able to give yourself and then and only then you learn the Art of Forgiveness firstly applies to you and then you will be able to apply it to all others around you”.
That is actually an enormous concept to get your head around, believe me. However, in reality it is as ever easier than you think. Because if you thought it you are already thinking about it and in the thinking about it gives you the best opportunity to actually address it. As soon as the human brain gets an opportunity to look at another facet or aspect of learning you have the ability to add it to your knowledge stream and then if it gels it becomes part of your own understanding whether you are 100% aware of it or not.
Personally, I get frustrated with myself when I am intolerant with others. I wonder what aspect of me is unhealed that I can be judgemental about another and within the understanding from the Guides, I know it’s not really about the person but an aspect of many experiences being brought into the now to be healed. That in itself is awesome. We cannot heal unless we address or acknowledge.
Please try this simple affirmation for when you feel you are a level of really wanting to sit into intolerance or denial of another persons perspective, needs or their own understanding.
“I forgive me for all of the lives that have gone before, for the understandings and misunderstandings that I have accumulated that do not allow me to give the freedom to myself and others to be themselves. It is done”
Please give it a try, you are so worth your own understanding of you and ownership of honouring others journeys without putting yourself into a them and US position. We are in this together and for us to learn more of us, we must be more compassionate to ourselves, and forgiving because armed with that understanding we can truly start to love and appreciate everyone who chooses to have an earth plane experience for whatever value they bring JUST by being here.