Over the last couple of weeks, getting past the pre Christmas and post Christmas family commitments and catching up with people, I have been also claiming space to talk with the Guides and as ever as we learn and grow, as we change in those wisdoms also come new Guidance, and understanding.
Ever integrating with us, the Guides bring understanding and wisdom. Could be from experiences of past lives that you have had before with them or just them wanting to help you learn about an aspect of you that you had hidden from yourself. For me, any wisdom is gratefully received no matter how intense or feeling provoking.
Marius is one of those Guides, when first introduced, he swept down in an opulent bow that nearly had his head touching his knees. I had to giggle because it was so practiced and fluid that you could just tell that he had done this for years and years. He is about 37 years old and has a mustache that has been teased into curls at the ends, perfectly. Dark hair parted down the middle and greased back on either side. Extremely dark eyes and one of those delicious baritone voices that carries across a room. I laugh as I write this because Marius was a show man, and to my delight, in Spirit he has the same satirical sense of humour that he had when he was here. He was a consummate showman and in the late 1800’s was the intro man for the Carnival.
Ever intrigued by WHY old connections can appear in Guides, I asked him what he was here for, as in what was he bringing me to learn about. He grinned and stepped back “Why to show you your darkness, of course” and with a flourish, reached towards me and with an incredibly fast move, looked like he pulled off me a dark shadow, flicked it towards his other hand, which promptly grabbed it, released it and what looked like a black bird or bat flew off into the air.
Startled by the suddenness of all of the movements I just stared at him. I folded by arms and grinned. “Neat trick, how did you do it?” He laughed and showed me some black sheer fabric that was attached to extremely fine black string that went up his arm, across his shoulder under his black coat and down to his other hand, it was connected to a tiny coil, which released would pull the “black shadow” up his sleeve extremely fast while he reached into his other pocket and released a black dove. Clearly, it was a trick that he had spent years perfecting, it was so fast. I thought for a moment, “How many people did you terrify with that one?” He barked laughter and smirked. “Quite a few but do realise that in the era I was living, people were so terrified of demons, and spirits that to have them think they had been released from one was terribly… errmmm rewarding?” My turn to laugh! I am sure it was at many levels. He dropped a slow wink at me and grinned.
“Everyone loves a good illusion”. The words sound like words but beyond it is the complete understanding of what Marius has come to teach. Lao stands beside me, hands folded within his sleeves and smiles ever benignly at Marius. I look from one to the other, “I didn’t miss that you know”. They both look at me wisely. Lao bows very minutely and slowly walks away, leaving Marius and I to keep talking. He chose a pale pink thread from the Tapestry of Lives and the life I had with him unfolds.
Having lived the life, I watch with all the enjoyment of reviewing at it from a different angle without the intensity of being in the moment. “Gawd I was naive” I comment and he looks at me sadly. “I am sorry”. I laugh, “seriously Marius, don’t you think it’s penance enough to have to come back to give me Guidance and wisdom in my human state? After all, down here we have a tendency to be extremely difficult to work with!” He smiles slowly, “Absolutely not”.
In the life we had together, his preoccupation with gambling, money and his ego corrupted his sense of value and integrity and he simply used people to get what he needed. Such a learning life. I am always intrigued when Guides choose to come into your life bringing with them such healing for parts of your soul that you can have buried so deeply. Yet it is not just Guides that do that, it is the energy, and in this energy, even though you may not be aware of the Guides you have, that is calling us to stop kidding ourselves, stop creating illusions that hide us deeply from the truth of who we are. We all have darkness, but we think it’s such a negative thing yet, we need the darkness of ourselves to truthfully illuminate the brilliance of our being. Acceptance of who we are, not just our so called flaws, is pulling us ever closer to becoming, and living in a state where we are not denying ourselves from just being.
In the same way Marius was adept at pulling off “darkness”, we are adept at thinking we have to control ourselves so massively into an illusion of who we think we should be. Think about how outraged we are when someone behaves in a way that we think of as appalling, just by speaking their mind and how personally we take it when they do that. By what standard have you applied to yourself that its unacceptable behaviour? We each have our own moral code of ethic within ourselves but it is also tempered by a kind of illusion of who we are either taught to be, conditioned to be, and rarely does it give us permission to be ourselves, when it is far too easy to judge another…
When upstairs said to me last year, next year will be a Universal Year of Freedom, I said what does that actually mean? The reply was simply this. Freedom from yourself to be yourself. Giving of yourself permission to be. We spend here on the Earth Plane, a phenomenal amount of time questioning everything we say and do. We sell ourselves an illusion of what we think we should be and then we use that illusion to judge ourselves and other people about who and what they should be as well. Wow, how to create your own darkness with that one… Seriously, do you want me to send you Marius?
And in doing this we love, simply love to give ourselves labels or convince ourselves or another who we are. This is not our truth, but rather a perception of what we think we should be and that in itself is an illusion. How many times have you had a friendship and that person could be disloyal again and again and yet they would tell you that they are the kindest person, causing you to look at them kind of cross eyed. We simply own the illusions we sell ourselves. “I am successful because I have this job, this house, this family”. No, you are successful because you are living and breathing the biggest journey you will ever have, your life and that already makes you successful in every way. Not your clothes, your friends, your bank balance, or your lack of those things, it is HOW you learn about you and how you get back to the truth of you, because when you give yourself permission to be complete in yourself there is no need to worry about your darkness, your light, your words, your thoughts, your connections. You just are YOU and that is your truth beyond illusion and MAN, it is peaceful.
So many times over the last few weeks instead of thinking about where, what, who, when I have just come down to just being. Recognising that each person’s growth is their own, that the things that happen you can take personally or you can see they are there for growth and understanding. That life is incredibly short and challenging moments can happen in seconds, but you can choose how you deal with those too. You have no shortfalls, you have your truth. Not for any one else but yourself after all, you have to live with you. This energy is challenging you on the relationship with yourself and your truthfulness with yourself about what your needs are. It is time to start listening to you. If you want your freedom to be you, it’s there, but stop selling yourself an illusion of who you are. Don’t say you are kind and then think and do miserable things to others by thought or deed. Say I am kind and LIVE kindly. Stop bending and contorting to be something you don’t even feel you are, stop delusional living and come back to be honest within yourself. You don’t need convincing, you need to give yourself permission and freedom.
Start there, it’s a great place to start and if people notice you are changing and start to frown, then know that you are leading by example, living and being who you need to be for you. It is not about keeping everyone happy when you are miserably trying to be something you are not. Its about being truthful, and starting with yourself is a great place to start.
The energies are shifting people, pulling us relentlessly towards being the authentic beings we need to be, now is the perfect time to shed old illusions, habits and patterns and start to truly be at peace with who you are. Now is perfect!