I plop into bed and sigh. Sometimes its only when you get off your feet and lay down do you feel completely relaxed. I close my eyes and hear “Come up” and I smile to myself. Time to go. I feel myself reaching up and hands grab mine and I am pulled up and out into a field where the grass is knee-high and its like a green sea all around me. The sun is shining and the sky is azure blue. The large oak tree is off to the right and I can feel the warmth of the soil on my bare feet. I smile, no wonder everyone gets so annoyed at how fast I go to sleep, I simply either step out of the body or get pulled up into a different space. I hear deep laughter and turn.
Guides are interesting beings, they bring with them such learning that they can create their own spaces where they are most comfortable but this space is mine, it’s a sanctuary place from a life long ago and initially when I land here, its a soothing place of remembering that life that I had for such a short amount of time but one that I loved. Filled with childish laughter and warm sunny days of no responsibilities.
“Talos” I acknowledge with a grin as I turn. The sun glints off him as this Guide looks like burnished copper and he bends his head in acknowledgement. I have to apologise to him so much at the moment. He is new and I keep inadvertently calling him Lao as I miss the deep discussions with my previous Guide. Luckily for me Talos never takes offence and he brings his own level of learning as they all do.
“Are we off then?” I ask and again he nods. One thing I have noticed about Talos is he prefers to show me in threads of light which open up and series of events play out instead of talking verbally. The only thing I really hear loudly is the laughter or an inserted comment in my ear when I doing something with someone that also applies to me and since we are all in this together most of what happens applies to everyone.
In a moment I am standing on a beach and the tide is gently lapping at my toes. This is Talos’s space, this beach and the rocky outcrops of land that lengthen into the island. The sands are white and the sea azure and the sky kisses it with the same colours. I dig my toes into the sand and feel the warmth. Talos moves and sits on a large space of rock. In this space he looks more burnished in the sunlight. Ancient melodies play around him when he is in his own space and as usual strands begin to flow off him as he shows me another level of learning weaving through time.
This lesson is about choices and honouring choices. Human beings judged themselves over and over for their choices made. Each time they forget that there is another choice and they just have to move seamlessly into new choices without berating themselves for what they deem a failure. He shows me where we want to evolve but we fear evolving will cost us something, so we go back time and time again to either blaming ourselves in perception or blaming others for bringing us learning as well.
The reality is there is no failure, there is just growth and learning. I lean into watch a strand about misinterpretation because of a lack of communication and the series of events that unfold in two men killing each other over a misunderstanding and then being on the other side and congratulating each other at a soul level for the understanding that they gained from that very act. I look at Talos “Wasn’t that pointless? I find that pointless from a human perspective. They both got so wound up about what they perceived was right and ended up ending their lives and then they are celebrating what they learned? What the heck? Why couldn’t they just work it out” I cannot see but I feel the grin from Talos.
“That’s the whole point. They were not meant to on the earth plane, they were meant to be fully present in the feeling of it, the emotions of it, the being present in the whole experience. They learnt so much about ego, perception, anger, rage, vindication, passion. Each experience will be looked at for a very long time in terms of what they have chosen to experience with each other”. I must look kind of disgusted because laughter ripples across my senses from Talos. “Hmmmz” I mutter unconvinced.
“You are supposed to be personally involved in your own experience” he explains. I get that, I do and I watch in my own current life learning play out in the most interesting and valuable of ways but sometimes my frustration is that we seem to learn so slowly. Talos snorts laughter audibly this time. “You are looking at it the wrong way. What is every thing you learn is looked at with the same wonder as an adult as a child. That instead of accumulating your hurts and guarding yourself so completely to not get hurt, you surrender to understanding the value of the experience. That is how you grow”. I roll my eyes at him. “Yes we get that, and the theory of it is wonderful. But when you are in the experience, it sucks!” He laughs again and I feel slightly indignant on behalf of humanity.
“Look it’s easy for you guys, you are off the planet!” This makes him roar with laughter. Talos has shown me his own experience on the earth plane and the wisdom that he gained from his experience. His loyalty and his faith unshakable even with the betrayal that he experienced down here. He has come into help me understand and put in context learning to come.
“Don’t ever forget you have a choice in how you choose to view the learning. You either grow from it and expand, or sit in it and wither. This is ever the choice as a human being. Let it shape you or crush you”.
This morning I am thinking about what we talked about and I think it applies across the board to most experiences down here. We as human beings seem to love putting things in categories. That was a good experience and I enjoyed it. That was a bad experience and I resented it. But either way, you change, you evolve, you decide what you will let affect you, and what you will let go of. That’s the experience, being present for all of it and allowing the space to be as it is.
I made a promise to myself a long time ago that I would keep learning and growing until I leave the earth plane, it’s what I came for and I would try to not harbour resentments for any of the experiences I have. I have been and will continue to be challenged on my faith, hopes and beliefs. There is no right or wrong, there is experiences and we need to be present in them. This is the most awesome place to learn and grow. In our acknowledgement of that, and acceptance of that, we can see where we are completely evolving and learning. We just have to decide how we let it shape us, and really that will be perfect too.
We need to be kinder to ourselves, in truth we are still children, growing and learning. We can aspire to have peaceful existences but we are growing and changing and all the way through we get to decide what we need for ourselves to grow. We need to honour all our choices as being the right one for us right in that moment for our growth and learning, and surrender to that. Not judge others or ourselves for the growth. It is what it is and learning about ourselves is what we came to do and now is the perfect time to acknowledge that.