I have been thinking a long time about this blog and discussing it majorly with “Upstairs”. There are so many changes happening in this “relationship” energy and its amazing to watch how people handle things and the reasons why they handle things the way they do.
In some ways, this is a two view points blog but its happening to both genders and the fallout is the massive gap in communication in between. It is not about being the voice of reason the Guides say but how much acceptance we have in terms of shedding responsibility and how much blame we can give ourselves and another. When they word it that way I kinda cringe, because there really is only an individual perspective for each person in every situation and if we believe that all is exactly the way it should be, then why am I writing this blog. Simple… Illumination.
We are at a pivotal shift in how we look at each other in relationships. I am talking mother/father, mother/child, father/child, partner/partner just about every mix you can think of is being adjusted in this monumental shift. So to try and make it as simple as possible the Guides use some of the following analogies to help it be more clear BUT firstly… Holding SPACE is crucial at this time and I fundamentally believe because of my own experiences, this is necessary for all parties (if they are willing to evolve) to do.
So here goes… My definitions in this energy…
Princess/Prince Stage: When you suddenly realise that you have quite a bit of understanding spiritually and wisdom gained physically on your pathway and suddenly from your point of view everyone else is either behind the eight ball or soooo slow to work out what you already have. Your tolerances are sharp and thin and you cannot stop mentally rolling your eyes at people’s habits and patterns, behaviour and thinking “For God’s sake WAKE UP” So you decide in your newfound understanding to “express” to people where they are going wrong and have been going wrong in your life, your entire life. You don’t realise you have been turning up for them in a certain way for years and now you want to change that? Instead you snap at them, jump down their throats and burn the bridges of friendship because you are DONE with them taking advantage of you! Hmmz, when you read it that way it sounds terrible doesn’t it? Suddenly you are wanting to quit your job because you work with idiots, leave a partner because he doesn’t do anything for you and you have been doing stuff for him for years, get rid of all those needy people sponging off you when you thanklessly did stuff for them for years and years. They are all wrong and you need to get rid of them! All of them… *coughs quietly and mutters (Off with their heads!) Now I am not picking because that would be judgement and in the Princess Stage there is enough judgement to sink the Titanic. I am merely pointing out, its a really, really valid STAGE and its everywhere at the moment and I have to say women and men alike are “Princing and Princessing” their way across the Universe right now, completely unaware in their vindication of being right, that everyone else is WRONG. Seriously this is a STAGE but some can own it for a lifetime.. Sure, you have changed and its great that you have recognition that you have, but in this stage, its blame central and everyone the royal eye casts itself on will probably get a tune up…..
Queen/King Stage: It takes time and vulnerability of self to become a Queen/King. It takes long looking into situations with patience and an open mind to see that the Universe is responding all the time to the changes in YOU. Then understanding, most of what is changing is not because of someone else, but rather pivotal shifts in your own growth that makes you see where you have been turning up for people in a vain attempt to keep them happy, when you are actually making them and yourself miserable at the same time. Queens/Kings rule their worlds with wisdom gained of experiences and self, are vulnerable enough to know they make mistakes and gain from them. They look at all their subjects as part of their world, their Kingdom and they love them for being a part of it regardless of what learning and growth they bring. They patiently wait, gently guiding others to be more thoughtful of themselves and so in turn how they deal with others. They HOLD SPACE waiting for others to work it out and feel supported in their transition. They don’t blame or judge. They use careful, caring strategies to place firm, clear, assertive boundaries with clear, assertive communications. They can have a tantrum at the Universe but acknowledge to self, that all things in balance are part of being human without blaming themselves for not having it all together. Queens/Kings have earned their role, weathered through enough hard gained wisdom to truthfully know that communication, compassion and honesty pay off in the long run of life. They look carefully at their relationships and give room and space for the other to grow with them, not forever, but some time. They are clear in communication of this and regretfully weed out those who will not look at evolving, with love even in the face of tantrums from the outgoing parties. Good Queens/Kings and I am using these terms as analogies, remember that, listen to the people, keep an open mind. Recognise needs and awareness of others and patiently keep calm and assertive in recognition of a wider understanding. They will hold space, an agreement within themselves for a period of time, to allow others to evolve into a deeper understanding. Very aware that each has their own growth stage, while never compromising themselves for others.
These are not the only fundamental changes that are shifting, but looking at the societal roles in place in this current energy is also changing as well. I have talked about moving out of “Suffer to Learn” and into “Create to be”. These are transitions, and stages, and like putting jigsaw puzzle pieces together, we are slowly evolving into better understanding of each other, genders and equality of emotional levels.
I know that there are elementary differences between how males and females think but if we are changing philosophies then the rules have changed also in how we deal with each other. Most of us have programming from our parents, society. Heaven forbid, “Roles and Rules” that we were told we had to fulfill that were gender specific. This energy is challenging so many areas in relationships, we have to pay attention to where we are personally at so we can stop being at such cross purposes. We have the worst statistics in terms of how we treat relationships than we have ever had and we are falling down on communication with each other massively. I have been so quiet blogging because I have spent most of my time actively discussing all the changes with upstairs and wondering how the outcomes will fall into place. They keep showing me glimpses of understanding and how it is slowly, painfully slowly incorporating into our world. We need to be the change we need in patience and tolerance.
I love men, I love the way they think! Simplicity and at times compartmentalized brain patterns. Wanna talk about the car, no problem, but don’t interrupt that talk with another subject, sheesh! I have the car compartment open. They are gorgeously direct and amazing. However, seems that I am seeing a lot who have been programmed with the “man up, suck it up” philosophy handed down from generation to generation. Also I am meeting quite a few women who fit in this category too. It’s the game of distraction at its best. I DON’T LIKE FEELING VULNERABLE. So I will either, ignore the problem, or you. Distract myself with a task that makes me feel better rather than sitting in how I feel. Apply a fact or logic so that silly emotional needs can be dismissed. They simply detest having to feel because of how vulnerable it makes them feel. The Guides and I discuss this one a lot. Mostly it is programming, where they have not ever been taught to self nurture, and have a startling lack of love and nurturing through their childhoods. They have the ability unfortunately to make those who feel to make them feel isolated, lost, alone and emotionally unstable. They can make you feel like YOU are the one with the problem. BEFORE you want to force them to feel, be aware of this, these amazing people have been damaged by a lack of love. They actually feel incredibly deeply but they have never been taught HOW to nurture themselves let alone others. “Upstairs” has a saying… “You want them to feel, but in reality, it is like sending them outside blindfolded, without a shovel and saying you want a hole dug.” They have no tools to evolve with until someone lovingly takes time and energy to help them evolve. Many people will not have the time, energy, communication and love, and the Prince and Princesses will definitely not. It takes patience, wisdom and understanding to work with people who have never been loved well. They struggle to love themselves deeply and yet most feeling based people “expect” them to be emotionally reciprocal when they cannot. It takes open communication and nurturing, time, and in this energy many do not have the time for it as they are finding they need to work on themselves first which is perfectly okay, but we are all in this together too. We need to remember that. They are just as much work as the Prince and Princesses in their avoidance of themselves and love tactics!
Again few and far between but energetically we are being pushed towards this. The people who have looked at themselves and said “I will start with me first.” I will apply wisdom and understanding that I am really important in my own world and it is not selfish. They allow themselves to experience without judgement all aspects of the emotional spectrum and they are not afraid to show it. Tears can spring from eyes at the drop of heart based energy and they are not bothered by it. I have met only a few men who are able to be vulnerable and in touch with their feelings and honour who they are but they are amazing. They have not sacrificed one little bit of themselves by being vulnerable. If anything they are stronger for it. They recover quicker from life issues and challenges and are more in tune with their own needs and those of others. Women who have run this gauntlet as well are stronger and more in tune with their own lives and clear boundaries and balances. All are open communicators with balance and understanding. Please understand no one is expecting anyone to be perfect within this, Emotional Warriors usually work with people to help them find their way back to themselves as well as they know and have experienced the benefits of being in touch with who they truthfully are, warts and all. Emotional Warriors have experienced suppressing emotions and know how hard it is emotionally, mentally and physically to do this and they won’t. They have discovered who they are and how they want to turn up in their own life and they were the change they needed to be.
There is no pointing fingers here, there is just illumination of shifts and changes and the challenges that go with it. The human experience is an evolutionary one, but sometimes stop and hold space for yourself to work it out and see where you are changing and then while you are changing have a look at it in terms of stages. If you are in a specific stage, then recognition and acknowledgement are crucial because taking it out on everyone else and expecting them to “understand” when maybe they haven’t got that recognition or are even at that stage is cruel. We need to hold space for ourselves and others, and give patience and tolerance, compassion and love for the growth of us as a collective. Now is perfect to look at how you are responding in this “relationship” energy as its going right through to February and how we weather this together for ourselves, each other and the world, is how we get through these stages in the end. It’s my thoughts in conjunction with discussions for months with “Upstairs” put on paper…
As ever I am interested in your thoughts and how you are doing in this shifting pivotal time. Look after you, learn to hold space for you and others, we truly are in this together.