Sparked by a wave of people struggling with difficulty with people in their lives (which is no new occurrence), but also highly illuminated in this current energy, I decided I would write this blog. Now at the moment, one of my beloved Guides is grinning at me with laughter simply because he knows that in addressing this blog it will bring up some issues that also have been applying in my own world. (Gotta love it when you get a celestial understanding at the same time as everyone else).
As I have blogged about before, there are a multitude of different Soul Pathways that we can choose to experience down here. Be it a Carer Soul, a Challenger Soul, an Illusionist Soul. These are JUST soul experiences and they are ones that you have carefully planned out to experience before you even got here. Life is about multilevel learning and experiences and they are all related to not those experiences but the evolution and growth of you, as a person AND at a soul level. Now if that applies to you, then it simply also has to apply to the rest of humanity as well.
Everyone is having a human journey and within that journey are all the aspects you wish to learn about you. As children we are often represented with behaviours of others, and while we may be told what to do, to be respectful, to share, to take responsibility, these are learned behaviours that as adults we can choose to do or not. However, transitioning through to adulthood doesn’t mean that your learning stops. Quite often what is illuminated in adulthood can be traced right back to all of the feelings from childhood. This is because your body functions a lot around how you are feeling and stores emotional memories that get activated by situations and people. When we come across people we like, emotions are activated and we “warm” to them, they make us feel good. Similarly when we come across people we don’t like, or consider rude and arrogant, we “cool” to them and we create feelings of annoyance and frustration and resentment.
To be honest they don’t actually come from THAT person, feelings are generated within yourself. You may not like a specific behaviour of a person, however, you do not have to own that behaviour either nor let it affect you. If it has affected you, then you need to understand WHY and that most of the time becomes very complex. We all have our hidden strengths and our hidden weaknesses. I have talked about mine before as fearing rejection. So if I meet anyone new and they say they don’t like me, it can send me into an emotional tail spin about how unlovable I am, and why don’t they like me and it can be from nothing they have said but a perception of what I THINK they think. No one is actually doing that to me, people will love you and people won’t like you, it’s a law of averages and its also impossible to keep everyone happy. If you tried you would end up in such a pile of knots and believe me, I think A LOT of you have tried it unsuccessfully as well.
So in order to truly learn about you, you need situations and people to bring understanding about you into your own world. The thing is if you ask a person why they are being difficult, they will usually tell you that its you that are being difficult and from their perspective, their view-point, their soul learning, you are.
You cannot learn from being told a situation. You learn by experiencing situations and people and thereby learn about yourself, your choices, your beliefs, and your acceptance, your integrity. You simply need difficult people in your life to learn all of these things. When I was talking to Hanni about this blog, he reminded me of this. You find out all about cold water, whether you like it in Summer or detest it in winter. But if you tried to describe what cold water is, you would find it difficult. The effect that it has on each person is different and is decided by that person in the moment that cold water hits them. In the same way, people will never have exactly the same reaction to people. This is the essence of learning.
Most Carer Souls I meet say to me “Why on earth do I have to have this learning about needy and difficult people?” The soul level learning that you have agreed to is to learn about you, about standing your ground, about love, about acceptance, all of this things are learned by you for you. Ask yourself this… Did you learn from the experience of a difficult person? Did you decide in yourself you would not be like that, not make that choice, not be as difficult, or did you judge them for being the difficult one, that they were wrong, they should apologise, why did they make your life hell? Now if YOU were expecting them to completely understand you, would you feel the same way? Most conflicts arise in humans due to misunderstandings, miscommunication, expectation and a need to be right but rarely do we look at all the triggers, all the learning that happened to the other person and to ourselves which defined our tolerances.
Now think of this, when you meet a difficult person, WHY are you triggered? Who does that person remind you of that has made you feel uncomfortable? Most of our triggers are set in place in our childhood, and they can remain unhealed aspects. Of course the Universe will send a difficult person into your adult life if you had difficult people in your childhood. This is so you can heal a part of you that was never allowed to stand up for you, to be you, to be honest as you. Human life is governed by cycles and patterns and within those cycles are repetition until we realise that we have a choice to choose what truly suits us, who we truly need to be and we will get challenged and challenged on those points until we shine brilliantly into our authentic selves. So it doesn’t always happen to you, it is about getting you to see what needs to be healed in you so people who are difficult no longer impact you and you can be yourself and let them be themselves as well. The funny thing is they are struggling with their own acceptance of themselves as much as any one else.
The hardest thing is to allow someone else to not impact your world but when you understand they are impacting their own world just as much you have a choice to decide what you will allow in yours. That is the beauty of life, being able to choose. Condemning someone else because they do not have the same thoughtfulness as you, the same ability to love as you, is making you judge them as wrong all the time. They are illuminators sent into your world to help you learn ALL about you. You put them on your pathway, and while you can complain and grizzle about them, they are actually your best and most helpful teachers about you learning about you.
Sooooooooooo, step back a bit from this difficult people. Don’t try to change them, you cannot, they have their purpose. Look instead to where you need to heal you, where you need to recognise where you are not supporting you, not empowering you and acknowledge always you have a choice to look at it one of two ways. Are they showing me a part of me that feels unvalued, used, desperately needing to heal? Have I been shown it before with another difficult person? or I will walk away and not address any of how it related to me, so the cycle happens again and another difficult person pops up to show me where I need to grow?
I can’t finish this blog without some wonderful advice from the Guides and it is advice I get reminded of all the time… (I’m learning too).
- Acknowledge this is bringing me learning and that is a GIFT
- Decide whether to be proactive in understanding or reactive in perceived hurt
- CHOOSE how I will respond. NOT for them, for me because I get to live with my actions
- DECIDE if I need to be right, or that is just me trying to make them see things MY way
- DECIDE how much energy I am going to put into the situation by deciding if I need the extra learning….
- SAY thank you, part of my learning has brought them into my world.
- Release and let go. Once you have worked it out… let it go completely. I usually say “OMG I got it” and let it go. Acknowledgement is half the key to understanding you.
Do not spend hours trying to work them out, if you want to give it that much energy, spend hours nurturing you and giving yourself the understanding of your choices. Always at the end of the day you get to choose how impacted you are by anyone. Apply love liberally and know you just learned something wonderful for you, some tools to make sure if it comes up again, you nailed it this time around and you now know you have choices about how you respond. Find the balance in you and you find it in everyone else.